Everything Wrong with No Bat is an Island

The following is a non-profit fan based parody of Cinemasins. It does not reflect my views on the Silverwing TV series as I still have a lot of love for the show. This is purely a fan based parody.

Everything Wrong With belongs to Cinemasins and Silverwing belongs to Kenneth Oppel.

EVERYTHING WRONG WITH 'NO BAT IS AN ISLAND'

1. Brutus: JUSTICE HAS BEEN SERVED!

- We just saw this in the last episode. Why are they repeating footage?

*ding*

2. *The echos escape from the tree*

- Are those supposed to be echos? It's physically impossible for sound to have shape or form.

*ding*

3. Breeze: What's that strange smoke coming out of the fire?

- That looks nothing like smoke.

*ding*

4. Bathsheba: We'd still have our home if we'd handed troublemaker over to the owls.

- While I won't argue with her there, it's still obvious that Bathsheba only cares about herself. You're not fooling anyone.

*ding*

5. Bathsheba: Unbelievable, sacrificing our summer roost for a scrawny bat too small to make the migration anyway.

-Bathsheba is a heartless b***h.

*ding*

6. *A mother bat holds her daughter and they both stare at Shade*

- These two bats are enough to fill Shade with guilt.

*ding*

7. *Chinook glares at Shade and then looks away*

- You were the one who started things. What are you angry about?

*ding*

8: Mercury: Dawn is coming soon. We have to start moving.

- It was sundown when Shade and Ariel went to see the elders. No more than an hour or two should have past since then.

*ding*

9. Ariel: Shade I have to sing you the migration sound map to you now. You need to know the way to our winter roost.
Shade: The whole thing?
Ariel: There's no time to sing it to you in stages like we usually do.

- Exposition

*ding*

10. *Ariel begins singing*

-Dated CGI is dated.

*ding*

11. *As we view the sound map*

-This reminds me of my Nintendo 64 and PS1.

*ding*

12. *All the other mothers sing to their children*

- Really? They all waited until the last minute to teach them the map?

*ding*

13. *The fire has died down as the bats fly off*

-Um I doubt a burning tree will go out that quickly.

*ding*

14. Todd: *to Chinook* Nice going chickenwing.
Chinook: What do you mean?
Todd: Well this is just as much YOUR fault as Shade's.
Chinook: What?
Todd: If you hadn't taken up Shade on that stupid dare this wouldn't have happened.

- Even the sidekick knows better. Chinook where is your brain?

*ding*

15. Todd: *to Chinook* Chinook just remember. *voice lowers* I know what you did.

- Well Todd just got creepy.

*ding*

16. *A leaf floats from the forest and into the big city*

- How far can the wind actually carry something?

*ding*

17: *The leaf lands in the middle of a laboratory*

- A lab? Well now s**t is about to get serious.

*ding*

18. *A giant shadow looms over the leaf*

- Ominous shadow is ominous

*ding*

19. Chinook: *flies by Shade who is struggling in storm* Come on! I know you can do it runt!

- When you use an insult, you are no longer encouraging him.

*ding*

20. Bathsheba: You're lagging too far behind! Hang onto you're mother boy!

- The first smart thing she's ever said.

*ding*

21. Ariel: Cling to me Shade!
Shade: No! You're hurt!

- Just do as she says. She's your mother for f**k sake.

22. *Lightning strikes and scatters some bats*

- Yep. Those bats are dead now.

*ding*

23. *Mercury goes after Shade*

- And why isn't Shade's mother doing this? I know they said she was hurt, but she seemed to be flying just fine a minute ago.

*ding*

24. Shade: MOM! MERCURY! *falls into oblivion*

- Yep. He's dead too.

*ding*

25: *The next morning Shade pulls himself out of some seaweed*

- And it's never explained how he survived that. Come on show, you have to give us SOME explanation.

*ding*

26: *Shade looks out from the seaweed and his hair disappears*

(AN: No seriously. His hair disappears when he looks out)

- SHADE'S GONE BALD!

*ding*

27. *Some crabs appear and they're red*

- Crabs a bluish green color. They don't turn red until they are cooked. These crabs must be zombies.

*ding*

28 and 29. *The crabs attack Shade and snip away the seaweed*

- Are they attacking him or helping him. And if they are attacking him, what provoked it.

*ding ding*

30. *Shade fly's into a hole in a tree and a growl sends him flying out*

- What the h**l was that?

*ding*

31. *Shade flies right into a totem pole*

- Now he has brain damage.

*ding*

32. *Shade sees the sun rise behind him*

- Well now the owls will probably burn the island down. Our hero ladies and gentlemen.

*ding*

33. *Pots rattle* *Rustling heard near pole* *Random objects fall over*

- This place is haunted. Get out of there kid.

*ding*

34. *Large bat cuts vent out of a concrete wall with it's thumb claw*

- Uh... no.

*ding*

35. *Shade and Marina meet face to face and scream*

- Hello obvious love interest.

*ding*

36. Marina: Gee. You're like a bat. Only smaller.

- Why is it that everyone Shade meets is an a**hole?

*ding*

37. Shade: Who are you?
Marina: Not so fast. I ask the questions around here.

- Only her second line and she's already getting agrressive.

*ding*

38. Marina: And what do you think you're doing on MY island?

- Just keep digging your hole.

*ding*

39. Shade: What's wrong with your fur?
Marina: Wrong? What do you mean? There is nothing wrong with my fur.
Shade: But it's all... light.

- Shade is anti-light.

*ding*

40. Marina: So how did you get separated from your colony. Did they banish you?

- Even I found that rude.

*ding*

41. Marina: I'd better show you around the island. Just so you know where MY territory is.

- Wow she is greedy.

*ding*

42. Shade: What are those?
*A bunch of orcas are seen below*
Marina: Orcas!

- And you know this how?

*ding*

43. Marina: Look you're obviously too small to make it back to the mainland, nevermind catching up to your colony. So...
Shade: I don't care. I'm not going back.
Marina: You can hang with me. Wait, you don't care?

- So suddenly YOU care about him?

*ding*

44. Marina: You looked at the sun? You're pulling my wing.
Shade: No I really did. But the owls found out and destroyed our home. It's all my fault. My colony is better off without me.

- Shade is suddenly a pessimist.

*ding*

45. *Marina reveals her metal band and Shade stares at it*

- Shade likes shiny thing.

*ding*

46. Marina: I flew home, but when the other Brightwings saw me and this band they banished me.

- Marina's colony is anti-band.

*ding*

47. Shade: Why?
Marina: When the humans tag you, you're marked for certain death.

- And you have evidence of this? I think Marina is being anti-human.

*ding*

48. Shade: Death? Are you sure? I mean I know someone-
Marina: No you don't know.
Shade: Let me finish.
Marina: I don't want to talk about it.

- Stop thinking about yourself girl. He's trying to help.

*ding*

49. Marina: *explaining orcas* See those holes in the top of their heads? They breath through them.

- And how does a bat know this? I'm not trying to be anti-bat. I'd just like to know where she get's this information from.

*ding*

50. *Orca sprays her from it's snout*

- And her fur is suprisingly dry.

*ding*

51. Marina: Sure you can handle it? It takes skill AND timing.
Shade: Well if you can do it, how hard can it be?

- Ooh. Burn.

*ding*

52: *Shade gets sprayed*

- And Shade isn't drenched either.

*ding*

53. *Both Shade and Marina get sprayed*

- Now neither are drenched. What the f**k?

*ding*

54: *An orca eats Marina*

- Do orcas even eat bats? I mean bats live in the sky and orcas are in the ocean.

*ding*

55. *The orca goes underwater*

- Yep. She's dead.

*ding*

56. *Shade clutches the whale's spout and manages to hang on despite going underwater and even being shaken around mulitple times*

- There is no physical way a bat can hold onto a whale's spout for that long.

*ding*

57. *The orca opens it's mouth and Marina flies out*

- Holy s**t! She actually survived.

*ding*

58. *Shade is blasted by the orca's spout and is still dry*

- Do I even need to say it?

*ding*

59. Marina: You saved my life.
Shade: Heh it was nothing.

- Scene does not contain any kissing.

*ding*

60. Shade: Frieda our elder has a band just like yours.
Marina: An elder? Banded? Like me?
Shade: Maybe not exactly like-
Marina: And she's old?
Shade: Practically ancient.
Marina: Then maybe this band means I'm meant to be an elder too.

- Sure. Why not?

*ding*

61. *Shade and Marina fly around an old tree trunk that looks a lot like Tree Haven*
Shade: This could be our new Tree Haven. I've got to let the colony know about this.

- And this new Tree Haven is never brought up again.

TOTAL SINS COUNTED: 61 SENTENCE:... BANISHMENT.

Marina: Did they banish you?

Pigeon Court coming soon.